What I did on my Summer Vacation

A bouquet of random thoughts from my Summer Vacation.

- It is Wednesday, July 20th as I write this. Nothing spectacular about the day other than the fact that I have to "think" about what day it is. I say that if you can't immediately remember what day it is you are either inebriated or very relaxed . Either way it's a good thing.

- "Dad, is that a mean beaver?" (Fill in your own punchline.)

- Five days into vacation and I do not miss my lack of an Internet connection. Brandee and I did manage to "find" some wireless connectivity in a nearby town so we are not totally disconnected from the "world".

- I am sitting next to our cabin, reading a good book (Perdido Street Station), sipping a diet Coke and watching the sun setting over Lake Superior. Not bad. Not bad at all.

- "Don't disturb the Piping Plover". I have no idea what a Piping Plover is, but my mother-in-law said it with dire seriousness so I will be careful to not disturb it.

That's pretty much it. I did not do much... but that was the plan. Mission accomplished.

The Tale of Goodman Goredon and Dame Brandywine

A long time ago, in the magical land of Oh-S0-So, there lived a happy couple, Goodman Goredon and Dame Brandywine.

They lived a simple life. Goredon would work in the fields in the day and Brandywine would comb her hair. At night Goredon would cook a fine dinner as a way to express his undying love. Thoughtful, thoughtful Brandywine would gently remind Goredon that cleaning the fireplace or getting a bucket of water would also be a good way to express his affection.

And so it went, day after day. Brandywine was cared for and happy and Goredon's house was peaceful.

One day Goredon's stalwart companions stopped by for some sup, a bit of drink and a tilt or two at Cups and Staves. A grand time was had by all. As his fellows drifted off to their own homes, they made a pact with Goredon to return in a fortnight to begin the tale-telling and ale-drinking anew.

Dame Brandywine was not pleased. She forbade the return of Goredon's scurvy friends and chastised him for neglecting to milk the goat before dinner.

Now then, Goredon was a gentle soul but this last edict really twisted his knickers. He raged at Brandywine that he was forty years old and this was his damn cottage and he would have his SCURVY friends -who, incidentally, were much less scurvy than her uncle, Royal- over when he damn well pleased.

Brandywine stared at Goredon in brow-furrowed silence. He tried to avert his eyes, but it was too late; she nailed him with her FRIGID gaze.

And there, to this day, does Goodman Goredon stand. Legend states that his frozen imprisonment will end as soon as he apologizes to Dame Brandywine, but being that he is forty years old and "this is his damn hous...er cottage", this is unlikely to occur.

The Moral of the Story?

Don't forget to milk the goat and Make sure your wife is ok with a bunch of guys showing up to eat your food, drink beer and play poker.

I Love the Rain

I came into work today with a grumpy attitude. I was up late, left for work late, the drive was slower than normal and the weather was overcast and depressing. So when my co-worker, Kristen, greeted me with a warm "Good Morning" I felt justified in snarkily replying "What's so good about it?"

Vicki, another co-worker, flatly stated, "Well, you could be dead" and then related how her friend and co-worker died last night in an auto accident.

Hello.....Reality Check. I need to adjust my attitude.


Hi. My name is Gordon. I love the rain. Have a Good Morning.

Short End of the Stick

She's gone.

I moved her out.

Brandee, my wife, is out of my.....room. The old computer room was just too crowded and something had to go. No way was I giving up the space. I am the Man. And this is the Man's room (nevermind the lace curtains).

Oh, it wasn't easy. She fought a bit. After a brief game of Rock, Rock, Rock and a quick stare down lead to a stalemate, we entered negotiations.

"Get out."

Not the best opening line, but I wanted to display my seriousness and thought a direct aproach the best.

"Bite me."

Nice one. Brandee also decided to be direct. Rock VS Rock. Score 0 - 0.

Stare. Stare. Blink. Blink.

"Ok. I will leave, but first..."

She had me at "Ok". I don't recall most of the conversation after that but I do know that I moved her stuff downstairs and agreed to finance room renovations and purchase a new desk.

Technically I won, but in the end I am pretty certain I got the short end of the Stick.

My Wife and I

This picture was taken on my 36th Birthday. It is my favorite picture of Brandee and I.