The Four Stages of Divorce

So, ya. I haven't posted much lately. Inspiratation level has been zip due to my impending divorce. As weird as it is to write that down, it is even more odd to read it. I never thought I would be one of "those people" but here I am. Oh well.

Since I have had some time to think about my current marital state, I have discovered there are four distinct stages.

1. The Declaration - "I am leaving." May be substituted with, "Get out", "I don't love you like that", or "Screw you guys. I am outta here" (delivered in your best Cartman voice).

2. The Moving - Transfering your nice stuff to a Crappy Apartment. Substitute Married Buddy's Couch or Drunk Brother's Dog-Hair Covered Futon.

3. The Signing - Standing before the Powers That Be to declare your lack of love and then quantifying the value of said lost love. Warning! There is no way to get out of giving up your shit. The best play is to take some stuff your ex-spouse wants and trade it for the stuff she has that you want. Mutually assured destruction leads to detente.

4. The Final Decree - The end. Reboot. Start over. Thanks for playing. So long and thanks for all the fish.

I am currently at stage 2. I can generally deal with the situation - I don't have any choice but to deal - but so far the crossing of each stage has made for a difficult couple of days.

I will be fine. It is just going to take a bit of time.