Sunday, February 12, 2006

Accusation of a Sith Witch

[Announcer voice] A long time ago, in the faraway galaxy of Ozmomo.....

Scene: A blue and green planet floating in space. As the camera zooms in we see that the planet is covered with luscious foliage and frolicking animals. Zooming even further, a warm and safe homestead is revealed. There is an orange and white Ronto in the yard, chewing the top off a tree. A young couple is sitting on the porch swing... swinging and talking.

Brandia: [snuggling up next to Gorton and cooing contentedly] The house looks nice. Even the permacrete you used to patch the hole Rocky made looks like it it fits.

Gorton: [gently kisses Brandia's head] Ya. It does look good. But then again, everything has been pretty good lately. The hydrovaters are working fine, no issues with the landspeeder, our credit level is in the black - heck, old man Morely may even put me in charge of wamp rat collection!

Brandia: [cooing and snuggling again] I love you.

[The couple spend several minutes admiring the pink and red double sunset. Rocky lays on his back, legs splayed apart, sunning his belly.]

Brandia: [looking up tentatively at Gorton] You know what would make things even better? Droids! Just think about it, wouldn't be nice to have some little droids running around?

Gorton: Droids are expensive, dear. And noisy. And they leak.

Brandia: [excitement creeps into her voice] We could get a used one. I am sure that there are many used droids that just need some minor maintenance and then they would be fine. You always said you would like to teach a droid pazzak.

Gorton: [hesitantly] Well...

Brandia: [pleading] Ah c'mon. Maybe just a protcol droid or an R2 unit. Yes! An R2 unit. He could help with the cooking and cleaning. I bet we could even program him to pick up Rocky's piles!

[Rocky snorts indignantly]

Scene: Several weeks later, Brandia and Gorton are having a holo-conference with D'linda, the used Droid Vendor.

D'linda: [speaking in a nasally business tone] ...passed all of the Droid maintenance classes with acceptable scores. Your social-biohistories are also excellent. The personal recommendation from Chancellor Lan Sulwood is exceedingly good and I see that your fees are up to date as well.

[Brandia and Gorton clasp hands smiling.]

D'linda: However, I have just received a holo-message from the Sith Witch. She claims you have abused droids in the past and are likely to do so again. I have sch....

Gorton: [interrupting] I have fought this Sith Witch before, and I can tell you she lies. She lies! She is a Sith Witch, a servant of the Darkside. How can you believe anything she says?

D'linda: [spoken in a flat, business-like tone] Yes, she is a Sith Witch. But never-the-less, as a responsible used Droid Vendor, I have to investigate all claims of Droid abuse. If I don't I will have the Mechanical Organization's Fraternal Order investigating this - and I don't think either of us want to raise the ire of the MOFO's.

D'linda [clearing her throat] Now then, I have scheduled an inquisition for.....

Scene: Quickly withdraw from homestead, planet, to the blackness of space.

[Announcer voice]
Will Gorton and Brandia be able to withstand the Inqusition?
Will D'linda see through the Sith Witch's lies?
Will they all avoid the ire of the MOFO's?
Will Gorton and Brandia get their Droids?
Will Rocky lay a pile bigger than a wamp rat den?

Stay tuned........


Seriously, a funny post to cover a very unfunny topic. Sometimes a little humor helps.

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